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The new James Bond film Spectre is almost here, and despite the 007 franchise’s famous stylish insouciance and flippancy, it takes itself with deadly seriousness. People employed by it are expected to take the party line at all times. Which is why we’ve had the spectacle of two of its most famous actor-representatives cracking under the strain of pretending that this latest Bond film is the most important thing in their lives.

First Bond himself, Daniel Craig, snapped he’d “rather slash my wrists” than reprise the role. To the supposedly fascinating question about who should play 007 next, he replied crisply: “I don’t give a fuck.” He went on: If I did another Bond movie, it would only be for the money.